Love or Trust ?
Okay, this is a tough one.
When you are in love with someone, at what point do you trust them or does being in love mean you trust them anyway?
And at what point does that stop, once you've been cheated on once or do you become less trusting ?
I personally believe you can trust someone and love them but they don't go together necessarily - you have to build trust but love is unexplainable, you know it's there.
Say suppose there's this person u Love but dont trust and there's another person u dont love but Trust a lot..which one do u think is better ? Which one u think its better to opt for in the long run?
Jai, preetam, harish ...Im waiting for ur feedbacks !
posted by forbidden.angel @ 6:10 PM
11 Comments:
I dont think you can possibly trust anyone the very first time you meet them...thats how we make friends...As we get to know a person better and confide things in
him/her, we begin to trust him/her...and there comes a point in this relationship when you have the confidence that you know everything there is to know about them...And it becomes "unconditional" (I use that term for the lack of a better adjective) when we can confide our deepest, darkest and worst secrets in that person without any shame or fear...
Love is different...its something that transcends human understanding...like you said its just there, and we're better off enjoying it rather than wasting time TRYING to understand it...
When you love someone and are getting to know them better and better, there comes a point when it becomes vital that you can TRUST that person...trust them not to betray you...honestly, the only thing worse than being betrayed - or "cheated on" to use a better known and more commonplace expression - is to be betrayed by the person you LOVE...You know you have to let go of them because you feel miserable about the way they treat you, but being in love makes it so much harder to let go...
At the same time, if you dont love a person and all thats there in the relationship is trust...well...i think they would make wonderful friends but actually "being" with them as in being with a person you would love, would just be a compromise on something as wonderful as life.
To answer your question i'd say the best thing would be to choose neither and wait for someone whom you can love just as much the person you love right now and trust just as much as the person you trust right now...When you can honestly admit to yourself that you've found the person that you trust and love so much
that you believe you know the worst thing there is to know about them...and its still OK...thats the person you ought to be with...
U knw wat evi ?! U SIMPLY ROCK ! I got my questions answered ! Thank u ! Thank u ! How do u even frame sentences like dat man ?! They make such a profound effect on ya ! Jesus ! U rock u rock !
One definitely becomes more skeptical after being betrayed in love.Im absolutely sure about that.After being cheated in a relationship,one carries a lot of negative thoughts into the next one.Even when a better suited person ,with greater virtues, enters into their lives they dont seem to be that amused.When they start having feelings for someone they try to run away from it.This is some kind of protective mechanism that they try and adopt to save themselves from getting hurt.he or she coming into such a persons life needs to win his/her trust,to make them even give relationship a thought.Once betrayed ,this time around one wants to be absolutely sure about the person he/she commits to, in life and sometimes no amount of effort or evidence seems to suffice.Sometimes i feel,the person who was betrayed has been robbed of the sheer joy of being in love ever again,rendering them incapable of having feelings for anyone.Nomatter what people say i firmly believe love is a concious decision.At some point in a relationship you make a concious decision to allow yourself to fall for a person .At that moment one seems to find more reasons to run away from it.
both decisions .being with a person you(love or trust) have thier pros and cons. cant exaclty say one particular decision is the right one.totally subjective.
but whats life without hope?????
teddy pa ji tussi thope ho
sari india da hope ho .........
Hey ... I am back ...
When u r in love there is nothing but affection and trust for and on the person whom u love. I think I will disagree with Evi7 regarding that u should know every thing abt the person to love her/him (I am a man her comes first here he he). We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. Now when that happens to u, U will believe in that person right from the word GO and it takes time to get to know abt each other. In such cases trust is what that plays important role. Initially though, as u r getting used to other person there will be some mis-understandings but if u just can hang on u can get thru that initial turbulence smiling with love.
Relationships--of all kinds--are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand slips through your fingers. Just like that in a relationship, hold loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But if u try to hold too tightly or too possessively, the relationship slips away and is lost and for most of the times lost forever.
Coming to betrayal, its hardest thing that can happen to any person and the effect will be doubled if unfortunately that happens to be ur first Love of life(heavy term huhhh!!!)
I will agree with Evi, about letting go when u r betrayed. Its real hard to let it go. When some one whom u love betrays U, U will feel disgusting about ur self, Ur confidence will be shattered, U won't feel like socializing with anyone and lots of other things but in the middle of all U will be fighting with every one including ur loved one to keep ur love with u even though the people around u talks logically, they just don't make any sense to u. Getting out of that sort of love or any sort of love is difficult ... but once u r out ... u will be more mature(and of course experienced he he he)
Now coming to trust ... A sufficiently great and generous trust could never be abused. It is impossible to go through life without trust. We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us. But it also is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust nobody.
So bottom line ... as far as I can say ... "Love will come to u, when u start Loving your self" and "doubt any person on the planet, but never your self!!!"
Before signing off, from William Shakespeare...
"Love all, but trust a few!!!"
im sure teddy is right when he says .............you need to know everything about a person to love cos otherwise it will be called an infatuation, where you attribute all the qualities that you like to a person you are attracted to.If you fall in love with a person without knowing him through and through,its teenage love, immature and foolish and people who believ thats love need to grow up.no pun intended.
i like that bugging you,cos ur so buggable song .man thats so awesome.ive sent to a lot of my friends cos bugging people is all i ever wanna do.
Oops..Cudnt visit ur blog for a long time so here is a delayed reply..
You really brought out an interesting observation.. out of my personal experience i must say trust may sometimes slowly transcend into love not vice versa.. as teddy pointed out finding an ideal mix of luv n trust isnt easy.. one shud really wait for the right person to come into ur life.. So wait for the right moment buddy.. U got loads of time with u.. Someone may soon knock at the door soon :)
btw i must thank you for bringing out such interesting topics in ur blog n make us introspect... worth the visit!
ehhhh .... trust , love trust love, trust, love trust , love....gawddddddddd.... both r unreliable :O
wonderful post and awesome responses from ur friends. I will add ur blog to my favorites, its cute
Didn't read the other comments above. According to me though, there's love, there's trust, and then there's infatuation.
Impossibly difficult as it may seem, understanding that these are three different emotions would probably help... wot say?
Will also add that it takes around six months to get over an infatuation. Now I don't have references for this one:), but time does reveal a lot...
and knowledge of the above piece of 'wisdom' can prove very useful ;)
hmm.. ok.. here i go! When a new born baby unconditionally lends itself to be taken care of by its parents, its trust! trust, therefore, is one of the first instincts of human life.. I guess its just that over a period of time.. one loses this wonderful ability to trust someone else unconditionally..! I think it is because, over the period of time, as we grow away from the realms of innocence.. we start imagining things about other people ( which are more often than not reflections of ourselves) which are not true.. we spend our entire lives trying to second guess the intentions of other people and judging if they are trust worthy because we ourselves have grown away from being trust worthy!..
Whats love? ! I think love is probably the strongest feeling that one could experience!! I think when one is in love, one probably invokes the divine in oneself!! divine?? Lemme explain.. I dont know what else can i call it because, its only in love that one wants to give everything to the other person just to see him/ her smile :)
Both love and trust are therefore unbridled instincts..which are within each one of us.. both of them probably coexisit...! i honestly dont understand the concept of one preceding the other.. if one is not trusting and then loving the person at the same time.... then one probably isint in love at all!!?
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